Does anyone else believe this? Music is what calms me. I love music! The lyrics to some songs are what my inside is feeling even if I can’t get out that from the outside. I swear some people are just AWESOME with words!
Everything that we have gone through in the last few years there is a lot of time that I feel like this and this is also my prayer.
The line that describes me the best:
“Surrender don’t come natural to me
I’d rather fight You for something I don’t really want
Than to take what You give that I need
And I’ve beat my head against so many walls
Now I’m falling down I’m falling on my knees”
I have A HUGE problem with surrender as my husband, friends and many others can tell you. I want to know what is going to happen at all time and will not give in until I know everything I need to know.
With my faith that does not always work. This miscarriage brought that screaming back up to the front of the line. I want to KNOW WHY WHY WHY. Not only the miscarriage but really a lot that we have gone through. I still don’t know the answers and will not know why for most of the stuff we have gone through, but I know that I have to look beyond it.
Not a satisfactory answer, you say! YUP I realize that why do you think the words to the above mentioned song ring so true to me.
A friend of mine who lost her father very suddenly a few weeks ago said this is a song that helps her through this.
It is a real eye opener! The chorus is:
‘Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise
It help me to see stuff from a different perspective.
So even though it is hard and I feel like this a lot: (from Carrie Underwood “So Small”)
“It’s so easy to get lost inside
A problem that seems so big at the time
It’s like a river that’s so wide
It swallows you whole
I need to realize this:
“While you’re sitting around thinking ’bout what you can’t change
And worrying about all the wrong things”
Time’s flying by, moving so fast
You better make it count ’cause you can’t get it back
Sometimes that mountain you’ve been climbing
Is just a grain of sand
And what you’ve been out there searching for forever
Is in your hands
Oh, and when you figure out
Love is all that matters after all
It sure makes everything else
Seem so small!”
So does music tame the savage beast in me. YES it does.
I am not saying that being angry is wrong I am just saying is don’t let it eat up alive! Find a way out some how. Otherwise you will never find happiness.
My blog is not all about seriousness that is for sure I am a clown at heart (check out the other post I have) but for some reason I wanted to share this on here!
If you are not ready to accept that you have to get past the anger/hurt/sadness I TOTALLY understand. You do it in your time, in your space and in your own way.
You will be ready to listen when you heart tells you, that you are. It will tell you I promise, you just have to listen and be ready.